Welcome to the Fourth Trimester: Where the Real Party Starts (Spoiler: It’s Not a Fun Party)

We spend so much time preparing for pregnancy and birth, don’t we?

We pack hospital bags with utmost care and precision. We write birth plans full of hopes and affirmations. We Google baby names until we can’t see straight. (And then we pick the first one we thought of anyway.)

But what about the after?

What about the part where your body feels like it ran a marathon, your hormones stage a coup, and you're trying to swaddle a wailing newborn with one hand while the other hand is wiping your tears and fishing a granola bar out of your nursing bra?

Welcome to the Fourth Trimester.
AKA: the baffling, shocking, soul-rattling chapter of motherhood that somehow didn’t get its own baby shower. I remember nearing the end of my second pregnancy and entering the elevator one day at the hospital.  A kind gentleman commented "you're almost there." or "it's almost over" or something similar.  I remember thinking that I knew better. That it was just about to begin.

So What Is the Fourth Trimester, Exactly?

It’s the 12 weeks after your baby is born.

And no, that’s not just some bonus footnote in your What to Expect book. It’s a whole transformation—for both of you.

👶 Baby: Learning how to function outside the womb without the full-time spa treatment.
🤱 You: Learning how to be a mom with a sleep-deprived brain, a very confused bladder, and a heart that just grew six sizes overnight (kinda like the Grinch? But no not really like the Grinch).

And here’s the good news: Neither of you is doing it wrong.

But Why Is It So Dang Hard?

Here’s my theory: nobody wants to be a buzzkill.

At baby showers and OB visits, it feels more encouraging to smile, hand you a diaper cake, and say positive things.  I think everyone is afraid to be a debbie downer or a naysayer or a stick in the mud.  So it seems no one talks about those hard moments.  But the result is that new moms are truly shocked to find out how difficult labor and new motherhood really is.

But then you get home and the magic looks more like:

• Crying in the shower

• Looking at your husband like, who even are you and why are you breathing so loudly

• Realizing it’s 4 p.m. and your breakfast was a rogue cracker you found in the chair cushion.

And you think, “Wait. Is it just me?” NOPE. Not just you.

Fourth Trimester Mood Sampler:

• Joy and overwhelm at the same time

• Weeping during diaper changes

• Not recognizing your body (or your emotions… or your pantry)

• Touched out, maxed out, and wondering if your baby is part owl

If You’re Struggling, Here’s the Gospel Truth:

You are not the only one who’s stared at the ceiling at 3 a.m. wondering, Can I actually do this?

You’re not the only one who’s whispered, I love you so much, but I am also completely exhausted.

You’re not broken. You’re not failing. You’re just a mother in the middle of a transformation—and that is holy work.

What Actually Helps?

🍼 Gentle rhythms. Don’t force a schedule yet. Your baby didn’t get the memo.

🍲 Simple comforts. Soft sweatpants, a hot meal, and a sip of cool water from a bendy straw.

🛏️ Accept help. Say yes to meals, naps, and friends who fold your laundry without judgment. (Marry them if you're not already married.)

🧘‍♀️ Let go of “should.” There’s no trophy for bouncing back fast. Or for making your own almond milk.

🚿 Take the dang shower. Put the baby safely in the crib (this is why we have prioritized our safe sleep zone with the firm mattress and no pillows or blankies) and hop in. Shampoo is self-care, and no, you don’t need to be watching him every single second.

From Doctor-Mom to You

I remember nearing the end of my second pregnancy and entering the elevator one day at the hospital. A kind gentleman commented "you're almost there." or "it's almost over" or something similar. I smiled politely, but inside I remember thinking, Sir… things are just about to begin.

You Deserve Support

That’s why I created the Newborn Success Podclass—bite-sized audio encouragement from a pediatrician-mom who’s been there, cried there, and got the spit-up stained T-shirt.

🎧 Listen here.

Because this season isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence. And peace. And surviving with your sense of humor mostly intact. You’ve got grit, mama. And I’ve got your back.